The Things We Water

For the record, I’d genuinely believed that Henri had been messing with me the night before. “I bet it’ll be worse tomorrow” had seemed like a joke.

So, the next morning, when I’d been heading downstairs with Duncan, and I’d asked him, “What do you think, my little donut? Are there going to be a bunch of guys in the kitchen today trying to sign up to marry me?” I’d said it with a cackle. And from the way his tail had slowly swayed and he’d nudged my ankle so sweetly when he said, “yes,” I thought he’d been playing along too.

The only warning I got was when we were halfway to the kitchen and I finally picked up on the strong presence of magic coming from it again.

Except this time there were eight or nine tall men, with Franklin in the middle of them looking baffled.

“Good morning….” I trailed off as Duncan leaned against my leg. His tail had slowed, and he didn’t look defensive or worried, but his little head was swinging from side to side, taking everyone in. He stepped on my foot.

A round of different versions of “good morning” answered.

Meanwhile, Franklin’s eyebrows were knitted together behind his glasses. He looked well for someone who had been missing for over a month. I’d never gotten around to asking where he’d gone.

“Hi, Franklin,” I greeted the elder specifically, taking in the half-zip baby blue sweater layered over a striped button-up shirt and dark brown slacks. “Welcome back.”

His answering expression was a little too bright, I suspected. “Good morning, Nina,” he replied in a tight, contradictory voice. His gaze swept the kitchen, and his bushy eyebrows pinched together even closer. He gestured generally around him. “How long has this been going on for?”

I made eye contact with a handsome man with green eyes for a second and then forced myself to focus back on the elder. “Them? Since last night.”

He peered at the group some more, his hands going to the pockets of his pressed pants. “Is there a reason they’re here?”

I hadn’t forgotten about his bracelet.

A man with medium brown skin and hazel eyes loudly cleared his throat. “Can we introduce ourselves now?”

Franklin glared at him.

And me? I stood there, not sure what to do. Was this my time to shine? Should I be friendly and talk to them? I wasn’t unfriendly by nature… but that guilt came back with a vengeance for some reason.

I’m not doing anything wrong.

But time wasn’t on my side, and there were only so many single men in the community for me to choose from to begin with—even less who might be interested. As much as I might want to, I couldn’t back out and disappear into my room. Dominic had made it clear there were rumors going around about me.

People liking me wasn’t something I would have normally wanted, but….

“Again?” a deep voice growled.

I didn’t even have a chance to turn around before a warm, dry palm cupped the nape of my neck, a thumb and index finger landing on the tendons on either side of my throat. I’d been so distracted, I hadn’t been paying enough attention to sense him.

For one brief moment, I thought about stepping back into him, into his side. Into the familiarity and comfort that was Henri… and then Duncan started nibbling on my shoelace, and I stopped myself from moving an inch.

Henri had made a promise to keep an eye on me, not to marry me.

It was what it was.

So all I allowed myself to do was smile at him weakly over my shoulder—he was in sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt—and say, “Morning.”

Some of the men started muttering curse words.

“No, no, no,” Franklin spoke up. He was shaking his head. “I don’t like this. If there’s going to be any courting, we’re going to do it the way we’ve done it in the past.” I didn’t miss the way his eyes sliced in my direction.

The fingers on my neck skimmed up to my hairline, the warm palm flat against my skin.

“This is much too soon,” Franklin continued as I forced myself to stay exactly where I was. “I will set up a schedule, and if you want to spend some time with our potential resident, you can sign up for a slot.” The older man hesitated before sharing a smile that seemed borderline grim to me. “If that’s acceptable to you, Nina. We’re accustomed to starting this process after the three-month mark.”

These people and their schedules.

I almost blew out a relieved breath, and my nod could have been more enthusiastic, but… I didn’t know these people, and all their attention was on me… and Henri was here, witnessing it….

It was too much.

Or maybe I was being a chicken. There was that.

I had to meet them—eventually—and get to know them, but I didn’t want to do it like this. This was worse than a job interview.

I nodded as the rough pad of Henri’s thumb grazed the underside of my jaw, and my chin instinctually went up in reaction. There was no reason that should have felt that nice. And I needed to pretend it wasn’t happening.

Franklin pushed his glasses up his nose and clapped once. “It’s settled. Everyone out. You can make your proper introductions another time, not when you’re crowding the kitchen and some of us have things to do.” He gestured to the door. “Out with you all.”

No one made a peep, and the man with the green eyes happened to catch my attention again, smiling just a little when he did.

I smiled back—a deep, low growl by my ear had my head jerking to the side.

“You good?” I asked the underside of Henri’s chin before leaning over so I could see his face.

I blinked. His eyes were narrowed, his jaw clenched. Even the tendons at his throat were standing out way more than usual, and I’d seen him aggravated and pissed before.

I tapped his chin twice.

Amber eyes landed on my face, that muscle in his cheek pulsing one single time before smoothing away. “Fine,” he just about barked.

That tone didn’t seem fine to me, but if that was the story he wanted to stick to, then who was I to tell him he was full of it? I was in the middle of a shrug when one of the men walking out of the kitchen—they all had their heads down for some reason, I noticed—stopped and flicked his eyes over to meet mine quickly. “I made breakfast today,” he announced quietly.

His irises were even prettier up close. It was almost as if there was a starburst around his pupil. A little gold, brown, and green all mixed in together.

Beside me, Henri took a single step toward the guy right before Franklin butted in again in an even more irritated tone.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” the elder snapped. His lips kept moving though, but the only thing I heard after that was something, something “death wish,” I thought.

Hazel Eyes looked startled, then quickly nodded and dropped his head again before he kept moving.

Werewolves weren’t normally so submissive….

My eyeballs followed the man with the pretty eyes out of the room, at least part of the way, before Henri startled the crap out of me. His voice was sharp. “What are you doing?”

I jerked, busted. “Whoa, Fluff, checking him out.”

Right in that moment, I learned that Henri Blackrock had a vein in his forehead that could bulge. I reached up and dragged the tip of my index finger across it before meeting his gaze and asking, “Where’d this come from?”

Then he did something I never, ever would have expected.

He nipped the side of my hand. Not even a little hard, but a nip was a nip, and I yanked my hand back in shock. I hadn’t been nipped in years. Decades!

I laughed. “I’m sorry. It’s just so… bulgy.”

Fluffy didn’t seem impressed with my observation, not even a little bit.

Somebody was touchy.

I tried to make him feel better. “It’s cute?”

Franklin let out an exasperated sound that drew both of our attentions to him. “Can we have breakfast now? I have news and questions.”

Henri wasn’t the only grumpy one.

I said, “Yes,” at the same time Henri agreed too.

No one said much as we went to the range where there were different dishes already prepared.

Henri served up a plate for Franklin with a little of everything while I made the pups their breakfast as Agnes strolled into the kitchen on four legs. I was in the middle of portioning out a serving of eggs when a warm body leaned over me, and there was a nudge at the top of my head.

I blinked at Henri being right beside me, so close. Was he…? “Whatcha doing?” I asked.

Had he been sniffing my hair?

There was another nudge. “Marking you.”

My lips parted as he dipped his head lower.

He was rubbing his scent on me like he’d done when we’d gone to see Spencer.

It took me a second to get my words together, and when I did, there was only one I could come up with as he pressed his cheek to my crown. “Why?”

Henri didn’t let me down as the side of his throat grazed my ear so nonchalantly. “For protection.”

I almost freaking choked. “From the big bad wolves that just left?” I croaked.

He didn’t answer.

What he did do was lean forward and touch his cheek to mine, a soft puff of his breath hitting my ear while he did it. And just as casually as he’d done it in the first place, like he did this type of thing every day, Henri straightened, looked at me once more, and then cupped my cheek. Then he nodded one last time and turned to the range like that just hadn’t happened.

That sure hadn’t seemed like it was just for “protection,” but….

This wasn’t the time to overanalyze it, especially not with Franklin right there.

Trying to pretend like it was no big deal Henri just rubbed his face all over me, I finished serving myself and took a seat on the stool next to the elder I thought was still being really suspicious. More suspicious than Henri, who came and sat on my other side, his thigh crowding mine in.

I left my leg where it was.

“I’d like to be caught up on what I missed while I’ve been away, but first, I have some news you might be interested in, Nina,” Franklin said after we’d all eaten a little.

I barely managed not to drop my fork as I swiveled on the stool to face him. “About Duncan?” I might have sounded deranged.

A heavy hand settled between my shoulder blades, and I turned my head to meet Henri’s gaze. His expression didn’t change, but his touch said what his mouth didn’t—he was there for me—and that touched me so much I had to fight the urge to throw my arms around him.

The older man forked food into his mouth like he hadn’t just teased the crap out of me. He made a pleased face while eating his eggs, and I understood. They were delicious. They were buttery and fluffy, and I understood why Hazel Eyes had wanted to take credit. I would have too.

I should add him to my notes app. I poked at the eggs when that thought made my stomach hurt worse.

“Yes. I had some success with the pup’s background,” Franklin began to explain between bites. “I reached out to an old friend, who steered me to someone else, and I was able to get in contact with a man in California who I was told might have very specific knowledge. He wouldn’t admit a word over the phone, so I took a trip to visit him.”

That was not what I’d been expecting him to say. He’d gone to California for Duncan? After barely meeting him?

“He told me about a set of brothers in Alaska who might have answers.” Franklin didn’t stop eating or chewing as he continued with his story, but I’d swear his voice got funny. Maybe a little flat? “They live in a community there.”

It had to be the one that Matti had mentioned as a backup to here.

Franklin kept talking, “I took a trip there⁠—”

“They allowed you to visit?” Henri asked, sounding surprised. “I was under the impression they don’t allow guests.”

That question had the elder pausing. His hesitation was evident, and I wondered why. “I… have a family member who calls the community home. I am an exception.”

Was that something worth being secretive about?

“As I was saying.” That was quick. “The magic there is rich, but not as strong as ours. They have less land than we do. Their community is much newer. Their organization is mediocre; it’s run as a monarchy for now. They have some things to sort out.” He made a slight face. “They didn’t ask for my advice, and I didn’t provide it, but there are some issues they’ll have to address one day,” he told us with a huff.

“I digress. It took some coaxing to get the brothers to speak with me. Once they agreed, they had several questions. I answered them to the best of my ability. When I shared the pup’s physical description, there was a reaction there. I attempted to get them to admit what they thought the pup might be, but they refused.” He sniffed and gave us a pleased and almost smug grin. “It took some time, but fortunately, we were able to reach a compromise.”

What did that mean?

Franklin paused his story as he ate a breakfast sausage, and once he was done, added, “The brothers are older and avoid traveling. They would like to send a representative of the community first to confirm the information I provided. At that point, the pup could travel back with the rep, or they would consider coming here, under the right circumstances. Those circumstances being that they strongly believe in certain signs regarding the pup’s parentage.”

I sat up straight, and I mean real straight. From the wall where he was eating his breakfast—at least I’d thought he was—I felt Duncan’s “no”shoot across the room at the same exact time.

And if none of that was enough, Henri’s almost scary, cool voice said, very carefully, “They aren’t taking Duncan, no matter what he is or isn’t.”

My body and brain were well aware that, to some extent, I couldn’t violently react to what Franklin had just announced. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t get mad, and I couldn’t freak out. I wanted to. Over my dead body, and a whole lot of others, would my boy be going anywhere without me.

I couldn’t control my heartbeat speeding up a little, but I managed, just barely, to keep from getting upset.

I didn’t want Dunky to know.

But my hands balled up into fists as I tried to rein in every curse word I knew. I was so busy focusing on not freaking out that I almost lost my balance when the stool I was sitting on got spun around.

That perfect face that I was learning every inch of, with its clean-shaven jaw and those orangey-light brown eyes that shouldn’t have been possible, was suddenly right there, inches from mine. “Don’t lose your shit,” he ordered quietly.

I pinched my lips together, fisting my hand tight.

His eyebrow rose about a millimeter before the hand that had spun my stool landed on top of one of mine. “Listen to me, Cricket,” he instructed, prying my fingers open with his dry, warm ones.

“I’m listening,” I said, trying to ignore the fact I was gritting my teeth while I did it.

“He’s yours, and you’re his,” Henri reminded me, taking my other hand and starting to peel those fingers open too. He didn’t break eye contact. “No one is taking your boy.”

“Nobody,” I emphasized with a little nod.

“And I told you every person here is mine, didn’t I?” he went on, giving my pinkie a jiggle when he was done spreading my fingers.

“Yeah.” I sounded like Pascal answering that, kind of pouty, kind of resigned.

His eyebrow went up to be parallel with the other one, and I wondered if he recognized the tone. If he did, he let it go. “And you’re a member of this community, aren’t you?”

I nodded slowly.

“That includes you and Duncan, and I’m not letting anybody go anywhere,” this gorgeous man assured me. “Right?”

He didn’t have to be this nice to me, and I knew it, but I sure wasn’t going to bring it up. So I dipped my chin and agreed, “Right.”

Henri’s thumb swept over my knuckles. “You’re upset, and he’s alarmed. Neither of you need to feel any kind of way, but you want to know what he is, don’t you?”

The selfish part of me wanted to say that I didn’t, not at this cost, but… “I do.”

“Then they need to come and meet him, but that’s all that’s going to happen. Got it?”

I didn’t want to say it, didn’t think I could to begin with, but I had to.

I knew it.

I just had to dig in deeper than I ever had in my life to find the totally unselfish part of me. It was buried under layers and layers of emotional greed, stubbornness, and fear of losing something precious and irreplaceable. Because that’s what Duncan was to me. He was my treasure, and nobody wanted to lose what they valued the most.

Nobody.

“Unless he wants to go,” I made myself mutter, knowing dang well that I might have said the words, but they sounded so, so forced.

The soft padding of feet warned me that my boy was coming over, and my donut’s chin went straight for my knee.

He gave me a look that had me sighing. He had his smiling face on. How could he be this mature at his age?

“It’s all right,” I reassured him, reaching down to stroke his soft cheek. I gave it a gentle pinch; it was so squishy. “Nothing is going to happen unless you want it to.”

I really hoped I didn’t sneer when I said that last sentence, but if I did, Duncan didn’t have a way to tell me.

But his “love”right then was the fuel that kept my heart beating, and I loved him so much, looking at his devoted face. At those long ears that were now getting further and further away from the floor with every inch he grew. He was the cutest boy in the entire world.

The best one.

And I had to do right by him, no matter the cost.

“Finish your breakfast,” I told Dunky with a blown kiss. “It’s you and me forever.” I paused. And maybe a future stepdaddy, but I kept that tidbit to myself with Protective Henri over here covering me with his scent.

I was going to talk to Matti about that when I had the chance.

My puppy gave me another long look that was pretty suspicious, but he reluctantly trotted back to his mat, that incredible tail swinging from side to side.

When Duncan was eating again, I faced Henri. “That’s the only way he can go—if he wants to.”

“No”came at me from across the kitchen and eased some more of the tension in my chest. It also made me smile because he was such a stubborn, nosy donut.

“Unless he wants to,” Henri man agreed, not looking like he totally believed me.

I dropped my voice. “But if they try to take him against his wishes, you’ll rip their spines out?”

He lifted a hand and dragged it down his handsome face before pinning me with his amber eyes. Henri almost huffed. “No. No one is ripping out anyone’s spine, Nina.”

I blinked. “But if they try and kidnap him?”

“Then we’ll talk to them and make it known they can’t,” he replied, squinting a little.

It was a sign to me I was feeling better about the situation because of Duncan’s insistent “no” that I lifted my chin at Henri. “But what if they’re pushy? Would you?”

His eyes were slits by that point, but his mouth was a funny little line when he said, “I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me right now or if you’re being serious.”

I was being only a little serious, mostly because I didn’t need to rely on him to get people to stop doing things I didn’t want them to do, but he didn’t know that. He might guess it, but he didn’t know, so I kept my mouth shut and played along if only to lighten the mood.

“You’re a vicious thing,” Franklin chuckled in a drawn-out way, reminding me he was listening. He almost sounded proud. “I can assure you that no one will be taking anything or anyone without permission.”

Grudgingly, I turned my stool back around. “Can you tell me what your suspicions are before they come?”

He hesitated.

“I understand you don’t know for sure.”

Franklin thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. “I would rather not speculate.”

Son of a….

“They’ll be here soon,” he said in a way that made me think that was him trying to make me feel better instead of making me panic even more.

I barely, and I mean barely, managed not to shout, “How soon?” Tomorrow soon or three months from now soon?

“I explained that I needed to speak with you before we could agree to any kind of invitation.” His eyes slipped in Duncan’s direction. “For the sake of the child.”

A graze at my lower back had me sitting up straight and appreciating the affection that Henri wasn’t being stingy with when I needed it the most.

Because I really did right then. As much as I was trying not to overreact, my heart wasn’t getting the memo as it pounded slowly but steadily against my sternum. But having your whole life on the line might have that effect on anyone.

“I need names and flight information before they arrive,” Henri demanded in his Great Wolf voice.

Franklin went back to eating, apparently not bothered by the bossy tone. “I’m aware, Henri. I’ll send you the information when I receive it.” His movements paused after he speared a sausage with his fork. “There was some excitement on their end at the possibility of Duncan’s ancestry.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

The last time people had been excited to meet him, I’d ended up with a bruised neck, sore vocal cords, and had made decisions that wouldn’t haunt me exactly but that I’d wish that I hadn’t needed to make.

But I was never falling for BS like that again. Henri didn’t seem willing to rip out any spines to protect Duncan—a disappointment—but I would carve them out with the little blade on my nail clippers if I had to. I’d use my fingernails if it was my only choice.

“Is that plan agreeable to you?” the elder asked.

I didn’t want to say that it didn’t sound like I had much of a choice. I wanted to know what Duncan was, mostly just so I could care for him the proper way. It would be good for him to have that knowledge too.

There was a small chance he might meet people like him and prefer to live with them. I was aware of it. I hated the idea with the passion of a thousand suns, but it was a risk I was willing to take if it benefited him.

It might kill me, but what was love if it wasn’t a freely given gift?

Plus, if Duncan… left…without me… before the three-month trial period was up, what would I do? There wouldn’t be a reason to stay here unless something drastic changed. What if he decided to leave after I’d gotten married? Then what? I’d be tied to someone for the rest of my life for no reason?

Those variables complicated things so much it made my heart and my brain hurt.

Maybe the community knew exactly what it was doing with their trial period. Maybe I should wait until the three months were up before getting to know anyone. It didn’t mean I couldn’t do research and take notes in the meantime.

Just in case.

I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to keep my voice level. “Sounds good, Franklin. That works.” I dug my fork into a sausage and paused when the tines touched the plate. “Now, would you explain what this whole schedule thing you mentioned earlier means? I just kind of went with it, but I don’t understand.”

“Ah, yes,” the elder answered, his attention briefly snagging on something behind me. “In the past, when a new member joins the community and is in the process of meeting a potential mate, we’ve found that having specific, short periods of time where partners can speak to one another in privacy works the best. Unless you want an audience during every conversation you have?”

This was the modern-day equivalent of a dance card. “Can’t you all hear everything anyway?”

His forehead wrinkled. “We could, but the idea of there being privacy makes things more comfortable.”

I wasn’t sure how you were supposed to forget you were surrounded by people who could hear every little fart if they wanted to, but… sure.

“We typically ask our new members to wait until their trial period is over before we take that step….” The elder trailed off, his eyes darting back and forth between mine and whatever he kept eyeing over my shoulder. “I don’t believe you have much longer left. When you’re ready, choose the days and times that you would want to meet with interested parties, and we have a schedule where they can sign up.”

This suddenly felt very, very real and very, very unreal at the same time.

“Like how mealtimes are scheduled?” I asked in a dry voice.

He gave me a tight little nod.

I’d always said they’d thought of everything here.

“What do you think about that? Do you have a problem waiting for that period to be up?”

The hand on my back fell away. It’d been so steady there for a minute that I’d forgotten Henri was still touching me. My spine suddenly felt lonely and cold.

But too freaking bad.

I picked up my speared sausage and bit into it. Only after I swallowed it did I say, “Sure. That works. I think… I think I’m going to wait until then. The three months, I mean. I’m about halfway through. It should be here around the corner, right?” The weak smile that took over my face fell off as quickly as it had arrived.

The suspicious old man pushed up his glasses, but he nodded.

Child?

Are you there?

I woke up with a gasp—a wild, sucking gasp that had my heart beating like crazy in the confines of my chest. It felt like I’d just gone down a steep drop on a roller coaster, except I was in bed with Duncan snoring away by my feet.

It hadn’t been him. It hadn’t sounded like him. That… that voice had been louder and too clear. Way deeper than my donut’s.

But it had definitely been male.

Had I dreamt it? I tried shaking away the grogginess clouding my brain. I didn’t think I’d been asleep long.

I’d heard it though. I knew I’d heard it. It hadn’t been a dream.

“Hello?” I asked out loud, more hesitantly than I should’ve been considering I usually thought so highly of myself for not being scared of things.

The only answer I got was in the form of Duncan’s snores getting even louder. There was no voice coming from under the bed or in the closet. Not out loud, not in my head, like how Duncan and his mom could communicate.

Nothing.

Shoving the covers away, I stood up and slipped my feet into my shoes before opening the door. Duncan still didn’t stir, so I turned and took the staircase, trying to listen. My gut said I hadn’t imagined it.

The hallways were just as empty as I’d expected them to be at this time of night. Agnes had to be dead asleep, and I didn’t expect Franklin to be roaming the halls either. At the front door, I threw it open.

“Hello?” I called out, looking around, for a sign? For red eyes? For someone randomly standing there? For something. “Hello?” I was louder that time.

“What was that?”

I screeched, flinching so violently I almost pulled a muscle in my abs, as I whipped around, ready to fight for my life… only to find Henri standing in the doorway, looking sleepy and grumpy.

And only wearing sleep pants.

Loose sleep pants. There wasn’t a shirt in sight. Just… muscles.

Lots of muscles.

Broad, bulky pectorals that had chest hair sprinkled across them before tapering into a flat, hard stomach with another sprinkle of dark hair there too, his waist thick but firm⁠—

Quit it.

I snapped my gaze up to a safe zone. “Did you hear that too?” I asked, a little high-pitched from him surprising me, not from his chest hair. “Or am I going crazy?”

His eyebrows came down on his forehead as he frowned. There was a crease across his cheek from a pillow that was way cuter than it had any business being. It made him look so… normal. “I heard… something.” Those clear, bright eyes flicked down to my pajamas—a faded T-shirt that barely reached the tops of my thighs.

Oops. I’d been too distracted to put shorts on.

His jaw tightened before he lifted his eyes and asked in a slightly funny but sleep-rough voice, “You all right?”

“I’m fine.” A shiver came out of nowhere, racking up and down my spine. “You heard something then too? Because I still feel like I’m imagining it.”

He dipped his chin even as his irises roamed from my face down the rest of me one more time, lingering low for longer than I would’ve expected. I didn’t need to touch my legs to know there were goose bumps up and down my thighs. “Sounded like someone talking in my dreams.” He frowned even more. “You scared?”

I shook my head, thought about it, then shrugged.

It was one thing to have Duncan talking to me telepathically, but a stranger?

Being vulnerable… helpless… was a shitty feeling.

A really, really shitty feeling.

As if he could read my mind, Henri’s brawny arms opened, and he gave me this look, this invitation….

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I walked right into him. Right up to the living wall that was Henri Blackrock. Straight into his embrace, plastering my front to his, and let him wrap his arms around my back as I threw mine around his ribs like a freaking leech. And like a leech, I had zero shame about clinging to him.

“You’re safe,” he grumbled into the top of my head as he drew me in even closer somehow, meshing our fronts together.

“Okay,” I muttered, my cheek flat to the skin and hair on his sternum.

He was so warm, and he smelled good. Better than with clothes on. Like cool, fresh weather that couldn’t be soap or cologne because I couldn’t think of a single werewolf that would willingly use something scented since their noses were so sensitive.

A hand skimmed up my back. “What exactly did you hear?”

I’d swear his voice sounded deeper.

“It said ‘child.’ It—he—asked if I… someone… was there.” I didn’t want to say it sounded like it had been for me. That was ridiculous. Wasn’t it? He’d heard it too, after all.

“You heard ‘child’?”

I nodded, slipping my hands to land on the sides of his waist, right over the material at his hips. It was soft cotton. Thin too.

His heart beat under my cheek. “That’s all?”

I nodded some more, trying my best to take another discreet sniff of him. How can he be so toasty with no clothes on? I wondered, making sure to keep my grip on his waist loose and easy, while some part of my brain was ready to just… drape myself over him like a blanket.

“Ever heard it before?” he asked, not struggling to keep his thoughts straight, like I was.

“I don’t think so.” That… that might have been a lie. Already the memory of the speaker’s tone was leaving me. “Maybe? Remember I told you about that voice I’ve had ‘dreams’ about before? It might have been the same one, but I don’t know. It’s been a really long time since the last dream I had.”

The palm on my back stopped right in the center of it, his fingers molding to my spine. I wondered if he could tell I didn’t have a bra on, because I could definitely tell he didn’t have underwear on. But I’d run out here half dressed, and so had he. I’d gotten used to living around exhibitionist Sienna. I was pretty sure that after Matti and her mom, I might have been in third place for the person to have seen Sienna’s butt the most.

And now, I was thinking about Henri’s butt cheeks. Whether they were high and tight, or meatier at the bottom. Were they tan like the rest of him, or did he go without a shirt often enough that there was a nice tan line where his pants met his shirt?

Stop it, Nina.

“That’s all you heard?” Henri asked, oblivious to me daydreaming about his heinie while trying my hardest to pretend like his quarter chub was no big deal.

“Yes, just ‘child’ and ‘are you there?’ That was it.”

A thought strong enough to have me stop thinking about what was pressing against my stomach hit me.

Could it have been Duncan’s dad?

My knees almost went weak at the possibility.

“Do you smell anything in the air?” I asked Henri, instead of sharing my concern. “Anything close by that shouldn’t be there? I couldn’t see or sense anything out of the normal. The trees aren’t pointing fingers.”

“No,” he answered right before the sound of his inhaling filled the ear I had pressed to his chest. He held his breath for so long I was tempted to look up at him to make sure he was fine. His exhale only lasted a fraction of what his breath had. “There’s nothing close by out of the normal.” The hand on my back slid up a little, and I was sure this had to be considered a cuddle at this point. “What are you worried over?”

I wilted at getting busted again. Might as well admit it. “I was thinking… remember I told everyone that Duncan’s mom communicated with me telepathically?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “Do you think that could’ve been his dad? Maybe he has something blocking his scent?” My legs felt out of sorts all over again, and my arms might have clung a little tighter around Henri’s waist.

His body went solid. “I see what you’re saying.” He pulled back, concern written on those hard, dark features. “I’ll look. Go inside.”

Go inside? Was he kidding? “I’ll get a golf cart and go with you.”

He shook his head. “I’ll travel faster on my own.”

“But what if you need help?”

“No. We don’t know who or what that was,” he argued before a very faint smile slowly crept over his mouth. His eyebrows scrunched together. “You worried about me?”

I made a face. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re not such a brat after all.” Before I could give him crap, the werewolf took a step back. “If you hear anything, holler. I’ll hear you.”

Unfortunately, I was too hung up on him being out here with me without a shirt or underwear on to do more than stare as he stepped off the deck, his form shimmering briefly before his other body. The gorgeous black wolf shot off into the woods, his stride reminding me more of a horse than what he was.

I had the strangest urge to hug him.

And I suddenly missed my parents so much. I hoped they’d call me soon. Sometimes they forgot they had a needy kid who liked hearing from them while they lived their isolated and quiet lives, just the way they wanted to.

And then I wondered where I got it from.

I waited and watched Henri disappear in the distance between trees that seemed even taller and more unreal in the darkness. Moonlight reflected off some of the bark, giving it that shimmering quality that I’d seen the first day we’d gotten here. It was faint, but it was there.

Minutes passed. Then more minutes, and I slowly realized just how quiet it was out here. There wasn’t a hoot, a howl, or frogs.

It was spooky silent.

But that got me thinking about how I wasn’t really alone. How….

I took a couple steps off the deck before calling out, “Mr. Gnomes? You never told me your names, but are you there?”

Nothing and no one answered, and I felt a little dumb for thinking they would have. What did I expect? That they were waiting around, listening?

Rustling at the tree closest to me had me looking down to find four sets of eyeballs through a small circular knot in the wood.

How did they do that?

I crouched. “Hi.” I felt like a jerk for bothering them, but not enough of one to tell them never mind. “I’m sorry for waking you up yelling,” I apologized instead.

“We were not in slumber,” one of the gnomes answered. They all had such similar features that I wasn’t sure whether he was one of the ones I’d spoken to in the past or not.

“We prefer to work under the cover of the moon,” one of the others explained.

“Oh, all right.” I still felt bad for being so impulsive. “Thank you for coming. I don’t have an offering tonight, I’m sorry.”

The gnomes peered at me.

I guess I was forgiven?

“I called you because I wanted to know… did you happen to hear anything? A few minutes ago?” I asked, feeling a little—or more than a little—foolish. They had literally just explained that they hadn’t been sleeping. Henri had said he’d heard the voice too, but it had been in his dreams.

“What is it that you expected us to hear?” one of them asked.

“I thought I heard a man calling out for a child.”

“In your dreams?”

I nodded.

The two in the front blinked at the same time. “Your kin, we would suppose.”

My kin?

My butt plopped down in the dirt and pine needles without my control, like some imaginary being had swept my legs out from under me. “You… think it was someone in my family? Why?” I croaked.

The gnomes exchanged the same kind of glance Sienna and I did when something extra ridiculous came out of Matti’s mouth and we were trying to decide who was going to give him crap about it. “Who else could traverse dreams?”

Of all the things that had happened in my life, this felt the most unreal. And I had a puppy with red eyes and a flame on his tail. And I’d sent people to the hospital.

“Did you respond?” one of them asked.

I squinted. “No… I thought….” The truth was, I wasn’t sure what I thought when they were implying I had relatives—parents—who could speak through dreams.

How was that possible?

“Do you think it might be my… father?” I squeaked, since that was the family member they had been so focused on before.

There was no hesitation when they agreed. “Could be him.”

I went lightheaded.noveldrama

“Could be another member of your kin,” they suggested.

This wasn’t helping.

“I would answer if I were you,” the other one claimed. “The old ones don’t take well to being ignored.”

They’d gone there. The old ones. My hands started tingling for the first time in weeks.

Could they be right? Could it be a biological relative of mine? It didn’t add up. It didn’t. Not when I took into consideration that I was in my thirties and had never known anything about anyone I shared blood with. But… “I want to make sure I understand and that I’m not hallucinating. You’re saying that whoever is calling out for a child… I’m that person?”

“Yes,” the gnomes answered in unison.

“But Henri, my friend, the wolf, said he heard him too.”

They shared another glance before their small eyes landed on me. “Yes.”

This didn’t feel possible. Pressing my palms together, I tucked them under my chin and whispered, “My friends… can I call you that?”

“You may,” they agreed.

“I don’t know what any of what you’re saying means,” I admitted. “I was abandoned as a baby. Whoever left me didn’t care enough to put clothes on me. I highly doubt that anyone who could do that, who could go over thirty years without ever having anything to do with me, would suddenly care now.”

I wiped at my face without thinking about it, without realizing that my eyes had started tearing up at some point. In anger, mostly. Maybe a little in frustration.

I had gone through a phase early on after my magic had presented itself, where I’d been scared of myself. That had been the only real, genuine fear I’d ever known—other than the incidents with someone trying to take Duncan. But there was something almost terrifying about feeling helpless, and that’s the effect the voice talking to me had. It told me that this person was strong enough to communicate with me while I was unconscious,to get into not just my head, but Henri’s too. It was almost unfathomable. If they could do that, what else were they capable of? I’d heard stories. How the oldest magical beings, the ones who had been there at the beginning when the meteor fell, how much more potent their gifts were. How they were the gods we still knew about from the oldest tales.

Just because their followers stopped writing their stories doesn’t mean their books were finished, my mom had told me once. It only means we got to see some of their chapters.

Something big moved through the forest as the small, wrinkled faces scrunched up even more as the gnomes stared at me in silence. Then each one reached a hand through the knot in the wood and placed a cool palm on the part of my leg closest to them. “There is no excuse for abandoning a child. Your pain and hurt is not unfounded.”

I wanted to argue that it wasn’t pain I felt but anger. Annoyance. Frustration. The ugly stuff, but before I could, the gnomes kept going, ignoring the sounds of heavy weight crashing over leaves and debris.

“All will be well, child,” one of the gnomes predicted. “There is nothing to fear. The old one may anger, but the dreamer has returned.”

What did that even mean?

Before I could get another word out, they were gone… and where their faces had been, bark had replaced the spot.

The sound I’d heard approaching from a distance came to a stop behind me, deep breaths filling the silence. I whipped around and stared up at the colossal wolf standing so close I could count his eyelashes. The dark creature dipped his head and snuffled against my throat, all warm comfort and sharp teeth I didn’t fear.

I threw my arms around his neck.

I hugged Wolf Henri so tight. So freaking tight. Because maybe he didn’t want to marry me, but he’d said I was one of his people.

And right then, I needed a hug more than I needed anything else.

I leaned into him and pressed my forehead to the side of his snout, right beneath his eye. Grateful for this. Grateful for him. This had to be what hugging a bear felt like, or the equivalent of a land shark.

He didn’t have to be out here. He hadn’t needed to comfort me earlier or now. He hadn’t even needed to roll out of bed.

But he had because he was that kind of person.

And dang it, this wasn’t the time to think of just how much I liked him, but I did. I liked him so much. Everything about him. The physical part was the smallest factor of it all.

Henri, bless his soul, didn’t deny me anything. I clung, and he let me. I sucked up his strength, and he said it was fine.

What might have been five minutes or ten went by before his body changed. Fur and muscles turned into smooth skin covered with a touch of body hair. Arms wrapped themselves around my back. Face to chest, hips to legs, that strong hand palmed the back of my head, holding my cheek to him in what I might call tenderness.

I hadn’t planned on saying it, on telling him, but apparently some part of my conscience decided it was a good idea to blurt it out, not even trying to be easygoing or funny about it. “I don’t know what it is about you, Fluff, but you make me feel safe.” I cuddled him closer. “I know you won’t rip any spines out for me, but it’s still nice.” I moved my cheek just enough to feel the crisp hair on his pecs slide across my face. “Thank you for this.”

It felt like he curled around me more in response, but maybe it was my imagination or wishful thinking. And after a while, after he’d ignored my comment long enough—which was all right too because what was he supposed to say? That I was welcome?—he asked, “What happened? Did the gnomes do something?”

It was probably for the best that he let my comment go, not that I would take it back anyway. He did make me feel safe, and I owed Matti even more gratitude than I already did for bringing this man, with this capacity of protectiveness, into my life. Especially now when I needed it the most. When I needed it more than I ever had before, because life didn’t revolve around me anymore.

“They didn’t do anything,” I replied. “They just confused me.”

“That all?”

He knew that wasn’t all. He had to be able to sense it. “Sad too,” I admitted.

A soft touch stroked down my bed head. “Why sad?”

I wasn’t proud of the way my inhale went in shakily through my nose. Nothing had happened. I had never been the kind of person to focus too much on ifs or coulds. But here I was clinging to Henri like someone had actually kicked me while I was down. “After you took off, I wondered if maybe they heard something, so I called out for them, and they actually came. I saw them in a knot in a tree over there.”

His pec muscles went hard, and I tried not to be impressed. “What knot?”

“I’ll show you. I don’t know how they did it.”

“What’d they say?”

“They weren’t sleeping, so they didn’t hear the ‘child,’ but as soon as I mentioned it, how it happened in a dream, they said it had to be my father or my ‘kin,’” I told him.

“Your family?” There was a delayed kind of interest in his tone. Or maybe it was wariness.

“That’s what they said, and then they told me that I’m the child the voice in the dream was calling out for, and I told them that that didn’t make any sense because whoever my biological parents are, they didn’t want me in the first place⁠—”

He growled.

I had faint memories of my dad—my werewolf one—growling when he’d hug me after something had made me upset. He hadn’t liked me being sad either. But it had been a long, long time since I’d experienced it so up close and personal.

It was awesome. A little chainsaw-y, but better.

I smashed my cheek against him even more. “It’s stupid to be sad over people who never wanted to know me and never gave a crap about what happened to me in the first place, especially when I ended up with a family who did, but…” I shrugged and tightened my fingers around his waist. “If it is someone I’m related to, why would they be doing this? Could it be my dad? Do I have siblings? And why now? And how, Henri? In our dreams?

“They said….” I didn’t think I could keep what they’d suggested to myself. I found that I wanted to tell him. “They said the old ones don’t like being ignored. And something about a dreamer returning?” I whispered. “I don’t get it.”

The growl hadn’t gone anywhere while I’d talked, but it had lowered to a hum that reminded me of the volume Duncan reached when he snored, quiet and steady. “I’ve got my suspicions,” Henri murmured.

My body tensed, but I refused to let go of him. I’d been raised by the belief system that you avoided talking about the beings once called gods. About the magic in the world that was even more difficult to explain than a person turning into a four-legged being. About the magic in the world that had left such a sour taste in so many lives, that fear had guarded the gods’ secrets even more closely than anyone else’s.

“What do you think?” I asked him, gulping while I did it.

All those hard muscles, even the parts of his thighs touching mine, went solid. Then I heard and felt him take a deep breath. “Let’s sit for a minute. The twigs are annoying.”

I’d forgotten he was barefoot. Nodding, I pulled away before he sank into a cross-legged position right where we were. He set his hand on his thigh. Before I could wonder if that was the kind of invitation my brain was telling me it was, he tapped the cotton stretched tight over his legs. “Come here, Nina.”

This was… new.

“You don’t want to get a splinter,” that velvet voice warned.

I wasn’t sure I was slick enough to hide my reaction—my eyes going wide—but I tried to make it seem like it was no big deal to the best of my ability. His reasoning made sense, and did I really want a stick digging into my butt? Not so much. So, I did what he said and sank onto the inner thigh of the leg he’d patted, tucking my feet into a spot under his opposite thigh, my knees to my chest. If the position gave me a really, really good view of his bare chest, it was just a bonus. Like a triple Yahtzee.

His chest grazed my arm, and I tried my best to pretend it was no big deal.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Out of nowhere, he lifted me up and adjusted me on him before sliding an arm low around my back, like he was helping prop me up. “I think you should tell me what you think first, and then I’ll go. I’ll be surprised if we aren’t both on the same page,” he tried to compromise.

Discomfort was a javelin straight into my sternum at what he was asking.

But I forgot that nothing got past Henri. “We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

I didn’t,but at the same time, sticking your head in the sand and pretending something wasn’t happening didn’t mean something wasn’t happening. Sure, I wanted to go on with my life like someone wasn’t calling out in my dreams—and Henri’s—but the truth was, this wasn’t just affecting me.

But all I could get myself to do was grunt at him.

I didn’t want him to look at me differently.

“Nina,” Henri murmured, and I could’ve sworn I heard affection in his voice, or at least amusement. “We both know at least one of your parents was someone who somewhere, at some point, was called a⁠—”

I put my hand over his mouth. “I don’t like that word.”

He raised an eyebrow, and it was more than a millimeter. His fingers went to my wrist, and he tugged my hand down. “I don’t like it either. Too many preconceptions, but you know what I’m talking about—an old one, does that work?”

I nodded.

His eyebrow dropped. “Then there’s no disputing that—that one of them is very old. There’s a chance both of them might be. Am I right?”

I met his eyes and found only curiosity there. I jerked my head at him once. Then I agreed to things even my parents had never wanted to admit out loud, or at least not without spelling them out instead. “I think so.” I made it sound like the dirty secret it had always felt like.

“You think so?” this man decided to tease right then.

I realized at that moment who I was talking to. The same man the gnomes had called the Great Wolf. A descendant of a wolf god. Which made him a wolf god. Probably. There was a big difference between him and Matti, and there was no hiding that. It hadn’t escaped me that not once had anyone ever brought up Henri’s parents. I still wanted to ask for details, but even for me, that felt like crossing the line with privacy.

Now I felt like a hypocrite.

“We can come back to it,” he offered. “All we’re doing is guessing anyway, aren’t we?”

I nodded, then so did he, tiptoeing right along with me.

“Someone is talking to you in your dreams, in mine—in who knows who else’s—for a reason. I’d bet there’s a list of figures that have that ability, and I bet we could narrow it down. I bet you’ve had ideas, and this incident might have narrowed them down.”

I grumbled and dipped my chin in agreement, squeezing my knees, my shirt tucked between my legs to hide my underwear.

His gaze slid to what my hands were doing before meeting mine again. His throat bobbed with a swallow, and I felt him shift his weight around below me. “There are stories that have been around for longer than I’ve been alive. Longer than the elders and their ancestors, too. My family, the ones who moved here, who made this their home and inherited this land, would tell us about how there was so much magic embedded into everything that makes this place this place.I don’t think they had a word for atoms back then, but it’s that idea…. Your hands aren’t shaking anymore, are they?” he asked suddenly.

I smiled up at his face, touched he’d remembered. “They stopped being jittery on their own a few weeks back.”

“Good. I knew it’d go away eventually.” He paused. “I’ve noticed the more magical someone is, the more strongly they experience the magic here.” His gaze flicked back toward my hands again lightning quick. He blinked. “Where was I?”

“You were saying that there’s so much magic in the land.” Something I had already reasoned for myself, but I liked hearing him talk.

He sat up straighter, bringing his chest into contact with my arm and side even more. “Right. The stories I was raised on say that this land is special. That it heightens everything that lives within it…. What are you smiling at?”

I couldn’t control my facial muscles; I was grinning so hard it sort of hurt. “You’re good at storytelling.” I squinted. “Why? You want me to stop smiling?”

“No.” He looked at me one more time, then continued on. “Everything that was born and raised here is bigger, stronger, than it is elsewhere⁠—”

“Is that why you’re the size you are?” I interrupted.

“Yes and no,” he answered cryptically. He moved on real quick. “I think that whoever it is doing this can communicate with more than just you because you’re here. Maybe it’s projecting into you… whatever gift it is that he’s known for.”

I gasped, already figuring out what he was implying: dreams. But, more than I wanted to know about someone I hadn’t given a crap about in decades, I wanted him to keep talking, so I snapped my mouth shut even though I was positive I was at least a tiny bit bug-eyed. What he was saying made sense.

Too much sense really.

He noticed. “I don’t know, Cricket. I might be wrong about it all. The gnomes might be too, but at the same time, why not? Why now? They sensed you. The elders might not want to face it, but they didn’t come back here for no reason.” Henri looked me dead in the eye. “They made that comment to you. Maybe they want to reproduce. They brought up your biological mother too.”

“I did wonder about that….” I trailed off.

“Why not?” He repeated it like this wasn’t an unreal conversation that included old, magical beings and gnomes who wanted to have kids.

And now, I was even more confused.

My shoulders slumped at how much I knew, how much I could guess, and how much could be a sheer matter of luck and coincidence.

“When you were small, everyone called you ‘Honey Bun’ because you smelled so sweet,” Henri told me quietly, surprising me with bringing it up out of nowhere. “Now….”

“Now I’m like cilantro. Some people love it, some people hate it.” From the way his eyes lit up, I was pretty sure he hadn’t expected that. Part of me wanted to joke and ask if he liked cilantro… but my mind went blank when our eyes met. I bit the inside of my cheek as some invisible force landed smack in the middle of my chest.

I could’ve sworn my ears started ringing, but that couldn’t have been true because his voice was clear a moment later.

“Part of me still can’t believe that you and Matti didn’t end up together,” he admitted.

The comment wasn’t exactly a bucket of ice water, more like tepid water, and it made me snicker.

“When he told me he was mating Sienna, I tried to talk him out of it,” he said.

My whole body jerked. “No! You didn’t!”

“I did. You two were always drawn together, and he’d mention that you were still friends….” Henri was watching me closely.

I shook my head. “I think my parents thought the same thing for a while, but there was never a chance. To me, he always felt like my twin in another body.” I shrugged. “Sienna is my right hand, and Matti is my left. I love them. They love me. All three of us have worked hard to stay close.”

“I didn’t understand until I saw the three of you together now, in the present.” His voice went a little funny. “You don’t love him other than as a friend.”

“No. I’d give him a kidney if he needed it or find a way to get him one. I know he’s not ugly, and I’ll be the second person to argue with someone if they said he was, but it’s not like that.” I smiled at him, taking in the rough structure of his masculine face. He was so handsome to me. And the way he smelled, the way he felt….

The tiniest little growl built up in his throat a moment before his features twisted into something between a scowl and a frown. A scrown. A frowl.

Crap. There was no hiding anything from him. Not when we were this close. Not when what I felt was so strong.

So I did what I had to do, and that was own what my body had just done to betray me. “I’m sorry, you’re attractive, but it doesn’t mean anything.” My voice went a little high, and I had to fight the urge to nervous laugh. “I know we’re only friends. You’re just… you’re gorgeous, and you’re nice, but I’m sure everyone thinks that about you, so… please ignore it and take it as a compliment, all right, Fluff?”

Henri Blackrock, law enforcement officer, werewolf, protector of this land, leaned back. It wasn’t much, but he definitely tilted his upper body away from me. But before I could get offended or worry I’d screwed up by being so honest, he blinked. Then he let out a huff through his nose that counted as a laugh.

“What?” I narrowed my eyes.

“You,” was all he said.

“I’m just trying to ease the tension,” I told him warily. “No need to make it weird.”

There was that frowl again. “I’m making it weird?”

Did he sound offended? “You laughed. Your tone just now. All you needed to do was say ‘okay’ or ‘that works for me,’ and we’d both move on and pretend you didn’t just smell me thinking that you’re a good-looking person when I’m sitting on your thigh and we both have less clothes on that usual.” I raised my eyebrows. “Be uglier. There. Problem solved.”

He made another one of those huff-laughs from his nose, that one a little louder than before. It was adorable.

“I’m trying to let you off the hook. You don’t need to embarrass me.” I eyed him. “I already have to work so hard to keep what I can to myself, thanks.”

He made another huff-laugh! “I’m trying to embarrass you? Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re laughing at me.” I pointed. “Right in my face.”

He started full-on chuckling, and I didn’t know how I’d missed the glimmer in his eyes, but it was there.

What did he have to be so amused over? Me admitting he was a hunk of a man out loud? Really? “It’s a compliment, you know,” I muttered.

His body sobered slowly as his gaze moved around my face some more and he sat up, bringing his chest back in touch with my arm and side. “Thank you for the compliment.” His mouth twitched just a little like he couldn’t help himself. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at the dumb shit coming out of your mouth. That’s what’s funny.”

Was he teasing me again? “I don’t say dumb shit.”

“I think you just proved a minute ago that you do sometimes.”

I blinked. “You looking to get bit again?”

His eyes lit up, and Henri leaned in to me. “You threatening me?”

I took in the rough bones of his face, the signs of humor in his eyes, in his body language. “Not very well if you’re smiling.” It was my turn to smile too. I couldn’t help it. Not when he was being this Henri. Dreamboat Henri. Half naked and playful and protective and everything anyone could ask for.

“The first bite was a freebie,” he warned. “The next one, you’ll be getting one right back, and I know exactly where it’ll go.”

I almost fell out of his lap.

The way my voice came out strangled and more excited than it had any business being would probably haunt me for the rest of my life but too bad. “Excuse me?” I howled, eating up his playfulness, boxing it up and planning on eating some more of it as a snack later.

Somehow, he leaned in a little closer. “Try me, Nina. Find out,” he seemed to tease me… threaten me… or maybe it was a goad.

Was it?

I wasn’t sure, but my nipples were hard.

I thought there might have been a good chance a part of me might have gone a little slick, a little wet, at what my brain was trying to interpret at this mythical-like specimen of a man flirting with me.

I needed to think about something else. Needed to talk to him about anything else. But… I was my own worst enemy.

“Are you going to tell me why you were laughing at me, or am I supposed to figure it out on my own?” I asked instead as I absorbed even more of the tiny details of his face that I’d never been close enough to notice before. A small scar below his lip that was slightly paler than the rest of his skin. One of his eyes was slightly darker in color than the other. How hadn’t I seen that before?

Had his bottom lip always been that full too?

“I don’t know if you want to know,” he said carefully.

“Cut me some slack, Fluff. You can keep most of your secrets to yourself. I’d like to know,” I tried.

“Sure about that?”

I nodded.

His eyes narrowed just slightly. “I keep forgetting your nose is the only thing not special about you.”

He wasn’t helping me not like him.

Henri didn’t wait for me to croak something, because that would have been the best I was capable of when he was being like this, touching me like this. “It’s funny to me,” he started to say in a rough, quiet voice, “that you would think⁠—”

He stopped talking, his head turning in the direction of the clubhouse a moment before a high-pitched voice called out, “Henri?”

It was Agnes.

She was on the porch in bubblegum pink pajamas, looking ruffled and sleepy.

A small, small part of me deflated on the spot as disappointment ran through my veins because she couldn’t have waited ten more seconds to wander outside. What had he been about to say? And had he been flirting with me? It felt like it. Where was Sienna when I needed her?

I didn’t wait for him to gesture that he needed to get up, I stood with a gulp and held out my hand.

Henri met my gaze before taking it, his long fingers curling around mine, and I helped him stand too, as much as I could, considering he outweighed me by at least a hundred pounds.

“Everything is all right,” his voice carried to the little girl, sounding more than a little different, hoarser than it’d been a minute ago. “I’m coming, Ladybug.”

I had never really asked for more than I had or more than I needed. I knew in some way that I’d always had more than most people could or would. The things I might have wanted, I knew to an extent could never really be mine.

But all of a sudden, right then, I thought about one more thing that I wished I could have. One more thing I wanted. So, so much.

This stunning, strong-willed, teasing man.

Amber irises didn’t leave mine even when he towered over me. His face sober. His smile gone.

I tried to muster one up for him, but I didn’t think my effort was that convincing. He had to be able to see right through it. He could probably see right into me—the longing, how much I’d just enjoyed the moment. How a part of me wished he would’ve finished saying what he’d been in the middle of.

And more.

But it had ended and everything was back to normal, and I knew in my heart that I was never going to hear the end of his sentence. More than that, I was never going to get what I wanted either. Even if I really wished I could.