Rejected, And Became A Heiress (Cara)

That doesn't work on Colin, not right now.

"There's lots to talk about," he says.

He's not letting me out of this conversation so easily, especially not when it's so clearly bothering me.

"Alaric wants to pursue you, but now you also have the eye of a second chance mate," Colin says. He glances at me. "How does that make you feel?"

"Overwhelmed, to be honest." And, okay, maybe I do need to talk about it. I didn't want to at first, but now that the floodgates are open, all my thoughts and feelings come pouring out. "Alaric, I don't know if I can trust him not to hurt me again, but I at least know him. Noel... he's a stranger.

"He comes out of nowhere, a wanderer like Landon, and then claims to be mated to me? I don't know anything about him. None of us really do."

"Landon does," Colin says. "You should speak to him. Perhaps he could give you more information on Noel. Though, if he thought Noel was a terrible man, he wouldn't be friends with him. If he thought Noel would be a terrible partner for you, he would have stepped in and halted everything that went on. He didn't."

"I don't know..."

"Talk to him," Colin says again. "Only decide when you've have all the facts."

That's a practical take, and one I should listen to. But hearts and emotions aren't very practical things. Even if I wanted to consider Noel, my feelings for Alaric feel decidedly in the way.

"I miss my wolf," I say. Lucy would know what to do. She was often my moral compass in times like these; she always seemed to understand what I truly wanted more than even I did. "If she was here, she could tell me if the bond with Noel is even real."

"You doubt him?" Colin asks, mildly surprised.

It would be strange for someone to fake a mate bond, but it's not out of the question. Taboo or not, I am now in a position of power and need to be careful.

Or maybe I'm just making excuses again, because I'm afraid.

I'm afraid and I hate it. I had loved Alaric fiercely in the past, and was so incredibly dedicated. I will never forget the tear of the bond as he rejected me. That pain could have killed me, I felt it run so deeply, down into my bones and the deepest depths of my heart. Those places still felt empty now, even all these years later.

My whole body still longed for my mate.

What if Noel could fill that void? And what if he did a better job of it than Alaric?noveldrama

My desire for Alaric is electric. Every time we are together, still feel the pull, even without Lucy's presence to help feel the remnants of our bond.

But... sex is all we've ever really been good at.

Talking, emotions; relationships... Consistently, we have failed in every regard.

Would it be so bad to try to open myself up to another? What if, in turning him away outright, I could be missing on my true mate?

"You have much to think about," Colin says, and lightly takes my arm into the crux of his. "It's been a long day."

***

"What if I choose neither?" I say. "What if I like things as they are, with the children and my position as Beta?"

"Then that's what you choose," Colin says. "No one in this family is going to force you to choose a man you do not love."

Love. Such a strange word that I have not given any credence to in such a long time.

"Thank you," I say, though I'm no closer to making a choice.