Beautiful Venom: A Dark Hockey Romance (Vipers Book 1)

I spent the last couple of days hating, cursing, and metaphorically stabbing a voodoo doll with Kane Davenport’s face all over it.

It got so bad that I momentarily thought of going back and punching him in the face or doing something more drastic like breaking either his arm or his leg so he could kiss his beloved hockey career goodbye.

That urge was mounting when I got in touch with Megan on my new phone and she sent me pictures of the Vipers’ latest win and said I missed an ‘amazing’ game.

He can still play amazing games, so maybe I should ruin his final college season.

Maybe I let him off the hook too easily and should have hurt him as badly as he tore me apart.

I should have burrowed so deep beneath his skin that he’d be tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep, his head only full of thoughts of me. I should’ve made him so attached to me that life without my presence feels bland and tasteless.

Because that’s how it’s felt for me lately, no matter how tough I tried to act.

But now, I won’t get the chance to act on my promises, because he’s come here of his own volition.

Asking for it.

I jump up, storm back to the garage, and reach for the axe, my hand shaking around the chipped wooden handle as I rush back outside.

“Are you going to stab me with that?” he asks nonchalantly.

It pisses me off.

How could he still look absolutely gorgeous in a brown wool coat, dark denim jeans, and a beige cardigan? His hair is styled back, his face is covered with a light stubble, and those eyes…icy, cool, and downright provocative.

Why isn’t he a mess?

How can he be so put together?

“I told you I’d kill you if I saw you again.” I point the axe at him. “Don’t blame me for your chopped-off arm.”

He pulls his hands from his pockets and opens them wide. “Do it.”

My hand freezes on the cool handle.

“Which one?” He stretches out his right hand. “My dominant arm for maximum damage? I’ll give it to you.”

“As if you’d let me hurt your precious arm.”

“I would.”

“What about hockey?”

“Irrelevant.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Try, then. If you attack me, I won’t move.” There’s no hint of mockery in his voice. It’s firm and grounded, and I know, I just know that if I do attack, he’ll let me injure him.

I let the axe fall to the ground, its clang echoing in the silence. “You’ve…lost your mind.”

“I don’t, usually. I’m actually the calmest person I know and the voice of reason in the middle of a storm. But all those qualities seem to vanish when you’re around.”

His voice isn’t as commanding as it normally is. There’s a weariness to it, making it a bit huskier. Now that I look closer, faint dark circles surround his eyes.

“So it’s my fault?” Emotions rip my chest open and my words come out too guttural. Too harsh.

“Yes. You ruined my life, and I need you to take responsibility.”

I storm toward him and punch him in the chest. “You’re the one who ruined my life!” Punch. “You lied to me.” Punch. “Used me.” Punch. “Made me trust you, then betrayed me!”

Kane doesn’t move, doesn’t attempt to stop or even console me. He lets me drive my fists into him, over and over, until my strength wanes and my eyes sting.

I’m not going to cry. I will not let this asshole see me cry.

I’m so mad at myself for not being able to stab him.

Hurt him as much as he hurt me.

But the very thought of his pain only brings me pain.

Just when the hell will these emotions disappear?

I need to get over him and go back to the life I knew before him, even if I don’t clearly remember it.

“Are you done?” His words are smooth as silk. “Will you listen to me now?”

“There’s nothing you could say that I’d want to listen to.” I step away, my shoulders hunched, all my fight gone. “Just go away and don’t show me your face again.”

“Not going to happen. So either you listen to me, or I’ll stay here until you will.”

This motherfucker.

I glance back at the house and Vi, who’ll probably have a panic attack if she sees him.

Worse, what if Jude is also here?

She becomes so weird when he’s mentioned. I don’t want to think about her reaction if she were to actually see him.

“Make it quick and leave,” I say.

“I never used or betrayed you. Technically, I didn’t lie to you either.”

His words clash with the wind and slap me across the face.

I think I’m really going to stab him this time.

“So your knowing about Violet, about the reason why I even approached you, is not a lie? Toying with me while you knew everything was not using me?”

“It’s not.” He spills out a harsh breath, his chest straining against his cardigan. “I never toyed with you. Do you believe I’d be with someone as difficult as you if I were toying with you? Do you think I liked it when you were trying to figure me out? When you put your nose in my business and tried everything under the sun to make me lose control? I hated it. I hated it so much, it messed with my head. I tried to keep my distance and discard you, but we wouldn’t be here if I’d succeeded. So no, Dahlia. There was no using or betrayal involved. I decided to keep you after that time I fucked you on the hood of my car. Nothing and no one will change that. Not even you.”

Fire bubbles up my spine and a ticking time bomb launches a countdown in my head.

Tick.

Tick.

Every tick is shoving me closer to the edge.

“Are you even sorry about your lies? Your omission of the truth?” I bang a hand against my chest. “I trusted you. I fucking trusted you, and you stomped all over it.”

“I didn’t choose for Violet to be Jude’s target.”

“But you chose to give him her file! You chose to exchange the results of the DNA found under her nails.”

“I didn’t know her or you at the time. Besides, he would’ve found her whether or not I was involved.”

Those are the exact words Vi said and I hate it. I hate that they’re both pushing me into a corner.

I hate that everything I did over the past few months was for nothing.

But what I hate the most is giving my heart for the first time, and to this bastard of all people.

“Did you stalk her, then? Were you one of the people who made her life hell prior to the attack for your precious friend?”

“No on all accounts. I haven’t been involved with Violet since the time I took Jude to your old neighborhood in Stantonville, and I have no knowledge of what transpired between them prior to what happened to her.”

“And what exactly happened to her?”

“I take it that she didn’t tell you herself. In that case, I won’t either. It’s not my story to tell.”

I grind my teeth. The fact that he knows what the hell happened and I don’t is driving me insane. No matter how much I beg Vi to tell me, she just shuts down.

I inhale deeply, my chest inflating with so many pent-up emotions. “Let’s say you didn’t know me when all this started. Then what about after? Hmm? Why did you talk to me that first time in the arena and give me hope that I could join Vencor? What about then?”

He runs a hand through his hair, tense, unlike his usual composed self. “You captured my interest.”

“What?”

“That day, the first time I saw you in that unsightly neighborhood, I wanted to see you again. I made myself think I wanted to protect you from Jude, which is why I made arrangements for you to be offered a scholarship into GU. It’s why I put on the whole show about the initiation.”

“A show where you showed me my worst nightmare and fucked me like a beast on the ground?”

“I won’t make excuses for that. I didn’t truly know you at the time and I had to make it convincing, and while I’d never psychologically torture you if I could get a redo, I still enjoyed the sex, as I know you did. I truly am sorry about digging up your childhood trauma, I don’t want to hurt you and I feel bad about that, especially after seeing how much it affected you. Truth is, I’d wanted to own you since I first saw you, and I foolishly thought fucking you once would be enough. It wasn’t. All that first time managed to do was unleash the animal lurking inside me. In reality, I wanted you in my space. Selfishly. Even if I had to make you think you’d possibly get into Vencor. It didn’t matter as long as you didn’t get close to anyone but me.”

My lips tremble.

My whole body does.

Sweat covers my palms, and I swipe them against my jeans, hoping this whole thing will go away.

His confession still rings in my ears and churns my stomach.

Kane takes a step forward and I take one back.

He stops, hesitating.

Kane Davenport actually opens his mouth, then closes it again.

Something I never thought he’d be capable of.

His chest expands before he speaks again. “I won’t deny my involvement in what happened to Violet or that I hid the truth from you. It might seem like an excuse, but I just wanted you, Dahlia. No matter the method. I realize that was wrong. I realize you hate me for it, and that’s okay. I’ll keep coming back and asking for your forgiveness until you offer it.”

“You’ll be wasting your time,” I say over the stupid tears trying to escape. “I’ll never forgive you. Not when you’re aiding the man who’s placed a target on my sister’s back.”

“Jude won’t hurt her. You have my word.”

I scoff. “Only if I agree to be with you. Is that it?”

“No. I won’t use her against you. Not when I know how much she means to you. That’s why Jude doesn’t and won’t know about my visit. I used everything at my disposal to locate you, but he doesn’t have the same access to the resources I do, especially since Julian picked one of the unmapped safe houses. You guys are safe.”

My lips part, but I seal them again. “I still won’t forgive you.”

Kane reaches a hand out, and before I can stop him, he wraps it around my waist, pulling me close to him.

His fingers burn through my clothes, and my heart jolts as if it’s been shocked back to life.

God. I almost forgot how delicious he smells.

Calming, too.

A week ago, all I wanted was to bury my face in his chest and fall asleep.

Now, I’m so mad at him, I want to hurt him.

“I’ll wait for you until you do.”

I lift my chin. “You’ll be waiting for a long time.”

He drops a kiss on my nose. “As long as it takes to get back what’s mine. And you are fucking mine, wildflower. Don’t forget that.”

“Ughh!”

My groan is loud as I flop onto the stool facing Vi.

She pours me a cup of coffee and slides a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me.

But I’m focused on the view through the kitchen window. Kane’s standing by his car, his left hand in his pocket and his right hand scrolling through his phone.

As if sensing I’m there, he lifts his head and flashes me a smile, then waves.

I glare back.

He’s there all the time.

Shoveling snow when I try to.

Doing our grocery shopping and buying us more shit than we need.

Following me if I go out at night for a walk.

Always.

There.

Like a damn parasite.

“Fucking asshole,” I mutter and then angle my chair so I’m not facing him. “Why doesn’t he just go away?”

“He’s been there for two weeks, Dahl, missing three games in the process without batting an eye. He said he feigned an injury nonchalantly, but you know that’s serious, not to mention school and practice.” Vi smiles as she sits opposite me, a coffee in hand. “I don’t think he’ll be going away anytime soon.”

“Well, I didn’t force him to miss his games.” I stab my fork into the eggs. “It’s not my fault he’s sabotaging himself and his team.”

“Instead of this vicious cycle, maybe you can just turn the page?”

“Not even if he stands there his entire life.” I narrow my eyes. “Why are you taking his side?”

“I’m on your side. You’ve clearly been suffering since you came here. You’ve been restless lately, taking apart the radio, the mixer, and other electronic devices and putting them back together again, often breaking them in the process.”

I take a sip of the bitter coffee. “I said I’ll buy a new mixer.”

“It’s not about that.” Her eyes soften. “You’re kind of destructive without a purpose, and you really hate that you’re not in college or in the lab juggling a million projects at the same time, don’t you? What about the scholarship you worked your ass off for? You’re going to lose it just like that?”

My chest tightens, but I say, “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” She pats my hand on the table. “Listen, I know it’s hard, even impossible for you to trust people, and you never had friends.”

“Not true. I have you. And Megan! She’s really sweet. You’ll love her…” I wince. “Not that you’ll get to meet her since she’s in that town.”

“All right, but my point stands. Trusting people is foreign territory to you, so when Kane broke that trust, it hurt you badly. You don’t want to be in pain again, which is why you’re pushing him away. But ask yourself, Dahlia. What hurts more? Losing him or being with him?”

My fingers loosen around the fork and I glance sideways.

I flinch when I find Kane still staring at me.

Jeez.

I stab the egg again and glare at Vi.

“What?” she asks.noveldrama

“What did he tell you that time I came back from the library and found you feeding him in the kitchen? Why are you this…chill about the whole thing?”

The only upside of Kane’s presence is that Vi has kind of relaxed, and she’s not always watching the windows as if she’ll be kidnapped by the boogeyman.

She still looks out the windows, but it’s more of a habit now.

“He said it was unnecessary to tell you, but I disagree. Actually…”

“Actually?” I lean closer.

“Kane forced Jude to delete my name from his list. He offered him the entire list in return.”

“No way. Julian implied that’s the only way Kane can keep Jude under control.”

“Well, he gave that up for you.” Her shoulders drop. “I wish he’d stop his friend instead of enabling him, but I guess there’s nothing we can do about that. The point is, he’s serious about you, Dahl. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re serious about him.”

My grip tightens around the cup. “So what if I am? What if I love him? Those feelings will eventually die, and I’ll be stuck in a world where I’m always an outsider. Kane and I shouldn’t have crossed paths in the first place.”

“And you’re okay with that? Not fighting? That’s so unlike you.”

“There’s nothing to fight for.”

“Pity. I would’ve loved to see you have someone you truly wanted.”

“Won’t be happening,” I whisper and swallow a huge bite of food, nearly choking.

It’s just…not happening.

I will never forgive him.